there is nothing i love more than hearing MSI & MCR come on right next to each other.

I romanticize everything and I can't help but think that it is the cutest thing ever to hear Gerards elegant voice next to Lindsey's aggressive bass playing.

GUESS WHO JUST OFFICIALLY BOUGHT HER MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE TICKETS!?

THIS CHICK.

That was a 200 dollars very well spent.

Hello heroes, it is very nice to see you again after all these years.

this is a band that will save your life.

i am going to post this again and open my heart. i'm a mentally screwed up kid. i've been down the wrong, beaten path one too many times and it comes back to me at least once a week that i want to do something i horrible. i get horrible urges to do things to my body and to go out and do illegal things. it isn't just a want for me to do these things, it hurts me physically as a need. i never go out and act on these things. not even when my skin crawls and my brain tells me that it is the only way for me to calm down and stop panicking about whatever is happening in my life.
i put in headphones and watch this video or listen to my favorite band. this video only slightly emobodies the love i have for these men. they got me through living with my grandparents, dealing with financial problems with my mom, my ex fucking killing my heart, my friends leaving me, /those/ times, those days where i wanted to give up, those days where i had the note prepared and written, just trying to finish the job, the days where i was taken to the mental institution and examined, the days where i wanted to just die.
when i saw them in 2007 on August 31th, i fell to my knees on the ground when they came on stage and cried. i cried harder than i have ever cried in my entire life. the people around me were asking me if they needed to call someone to come get me. it was the best day of my life and i am a proud owner of sunblister scars. my shoulders will never be the same.
i will be seeing them on April 15th in Chicago and my life will never be the same. i am going to meet so many killjoys and i will have the best time of my life and i will buy an american flag to paint and i will have the best time. i just wish i could have someone to go with me. i have no other killjoy friends.
i hope everyone in the world falls in live with a band and has them save their lives at some point in their life. this is a band that's entire purpose is to save your life.

help yourself.

no one can save you. get yourself up, look yourself in the eyes and tell yourself what you really think. deep down, somewhere you love something about yourself. focus on that. build yourself up on that. i love that music helps me help myself - saves me. i love that i love animals. i love that i can help people. i love that i am mildly funny.

get over yourself. look at the things that keep you from having a fun. climb over those things. for me, it was getting over my ex. i had been lying to myself for years and saying that i was over him, that i hated him, etc. really, i just got to the point where listening to The Used didn't hurt anymore. Looking at the posters we bought together and the pictures didn't make me want to curl up and die.

be an independent person. be a free spirit. listen to words that make you happy - make you want to survive. find a reason to get up every morning. my reason is to listen to music, to create music, to be a better person. what is your reason?

be a friend. be the bigger person. smile.

tattoos.

I was raised by my grandparents. They taught me never to dye my hair, get a piercing, talk to strangers, wear black, or get tattoos.
here i am, almost sixteen, and planning my life in front of me.
here i am, planning my tattoos, my piercings, the strangers I am going to talk to, and what color I'm going to dye my hair next.
It isn't a rebellion. It isn't a phase. I just think it is a way to express yourself.

So here goes my rant about tattoos:
We don't judge people on the color of their skin anymore. You cannot just not give someone a certain job or pay check because of their gender or skin color or sexual orientation. So, why do we judge people on what in ON their skin? Tattoos are a beautiful thing. They used to be tribal, spiritual, etc. now they are for personal expression. I know that if I had a choice I would be getting a tattoo today and I would wear them proudly. So what is the difference between these two people?:

they both went to college. they both are men. they both are (more than likely) married. they both are professionals at something. they both have civil rights.

so why is it that they both could go to the same interview, do the same on the interview and the buisness man would get the job?

i fucking hate most of society. this is why i want to be a punk rock chick when im 25. ride a morcycle and own a music studio. fuck you guuuuys.

ms. lesley henderson.

this is my twin sister.

i wish we knew each other better.

i wish i had talked to her more in french class. 

i always told her about concerts and said she was welcome to come with me.

shes a sweet heart and the only other MCRmy member around here.

maybe i could have her go with me to see them in Chicago?

i need more friends with musical interests.

i love my twin!

we are the kids from yesterday.

Well now this could be the last of all the rides we take - so hold on tight and don't look back.
We don't care about the message or the rules they make.
I'll find you when the sun goes black

You only live forever in the lights you make.
When we were young we used to say that you only hear the music when your heart begins to break -
Now we are the kids from yesterday.

see these people? I love them. All of them. 

But lately? I feel like we are slowly falling apart. I don't like it. I know its selfish. I can't help it. Some of my friends have drowned themselves in a religion and it honestly makes me want to not be around them sometimes. I am not religious and there is nothing that annoys me more than people who talk about it all the time or relate everything to their religion all the time. It doesn't mean that I hate them, or want to not talk to them anymore at all. It just means that I am tired of hearing about it all the time. I don't want to hear about how you went to Church last night and how you like those people more than the ones you are really friends with.

I never see anyone anymore besides my nerd herd. i used to spend my weekends with the joker and harley and it was awesome. before that, it was squarah and livers. before that it was everyone. i miss sleepovers. i miss everything.

i feel like I am drowning in class work and it drives me insane. I don't need to know eight different conjugations in French. I can't even ask where the bathroom is but I can tell you that I want to play basketball with a random blonde-haired stranger.

I find out about my Theatre Academy next week and then i get my Permit next wednesday. shit. life is flying by right now.

now try to tell me they aren't the epitome of the worlds best marriage.

if my family didnt question my sexuality before now, they officially do. I wore my "Legalize Gay" shirt to my baby cousins birthday dinner tonight and theya ll lectured me on how i was going to lose all my friends by wearing it in Hancock County.
Good. All the dirty close minded people can stay far, far away.

 

 

wants.

1. i want to be able to sing "Superstar" by the Carpenters to the love of my life and feel no regret. I want it to be my wedding song. 
2. I want to have a child and dress them up as comic book characters every day and keep them in the past for as long as I can. I want to raise someone awesome and teach them music and ingrain it into their brains and help them become fantastic.
3. i want to understand Alchemy. It has always fascinated me.
4. i want to live in my car for a year or so. Whether that be a touring thing or a just living in my car thing. 
5. I want to see the Aurora Borealis.
6. I want to learn to paint. 
7. I want to be able to freaking use a coffee pot.
8. I want to be able to play Piano, Guitar, Bass, and Drums. 
9. I want to get into Full Sail University, even if it is really hot in Winter Park, FL.
10. I want to go to Africa, Brazil, Belize, Haiti and some others to help people on charity trips.
11. I want to visit France, England, Japan, Australia and Thailand for leisure.
12. I want to own my own music studio.
13. I want to graduate from college with confidence.
14. I want to publish my book.
15. I want to never be the 'cool' kid. I honestly kind of enjoy being lonely.
16. I want to fall in love with the man of my dreams.
17. I want to have a Great Pyrenees.
18. I want to live in Los Angeles, New York City, Chicago, Maine, and Pennsylvania.
19.  I want to visit Liverpool and stay for at least a year.
20. I want to be in my own home.

theatre arts academy - please save me from Hancock County High School.

So, if you see me around in real life all the time, you will know about this ultimate opportunity in front of me that could jump start my everything.
I go every day and talk to Mother Midkiff who has a background in theater, and if i can get into that school, then i can get into Full Sail one day so much easier. I had my interview today and she kind of shot me in the foot - crippled me.
"Megan, your GPA is very good and so is your ACT score, but you have two disadvantages in front of you - 1. You aren't a regular theater student, so i don't know if you don't have a background in this. Plus, you're a band student, and this may eat away at this opportunity for you. and 2. you're a sophomore, and this goes to juniors first."
i thought my heart came out my ass. The fact that they are taking 30 kids from 5 schools is terrifying. Plus, some of these kids don't even want to do anything with theater after high school. I want to be an engineer. I have my heart set on it - it has been this way for years. So, if I get knocked out of my slot by someone who just wants to do this for fun, I might jump off a bridge.

i wont have another opportunity like this in Kentucky. Why does it have to be up to someone else for me to pursue my dreams? It just doesn't make sense. I need training and this is the only way I know how to get it. I was practically politely begging, saying things like:
"I want to be a recording engineer in a studio one day, and i've had my heart set on it for years. There isn't anywhere to start in Kentucky. This is my one shot. It all relies on this academy."

I hope that woman understands my drive.

this is all i want. the only thing i want. i will live in train stations for the rest of my life if i can work here everyday, own one, and work with brilliant minds. 

hm, so i wrote something really sweet this morning and it didn't post.

"wow. I look like an idiot crying on the bust this morning. Thank you again. For everything. I will always be a Kid from Yesterday."

i had such a rough day, dear god.

a lot of people ask me why i hate being a female so much,

1. the feminist jokes
2. the "make me a sandwich" jokes
3. the fact that it's wrong for me to eat wings and get dirty
4. i have to shower everyday
5. i have to look pretty all the time
6. i cant be in a kickass band
7. i can't trust anyone
8. all girls are backstabbers or bitches
9. i would get all the ladies if i was a man.

you remember those boys i keep talking about?

those boys that save my life every day? 

well - they are men now. they are honest to god men and it is the weirdest thing. Sure, I know they have families and two have children and they're all married, but they've always been this part of me that doesn't ever really let go. They've always been a constant. If I had to write a scientific report for my Chemistry Class about my life in a scientific experiment, it would be to test the only constant that has been in my life, and thats this band. Let's test how many times they've made me cry with the same song. How many times I threaten to kill whoever says anything negative about them to me. How many times their quotes keep me from purging. how many times they keep me from going out into my garage and drinking myself into a complete coma. how many times they make me smile. how many times they make me giggle.

well, now lets talk about the men they've become.

They got dressed up today and went to the NME awards, which if I were in their shoes, I wouldn't have done, and if they were the boys I have known forever they wouldn't have done either. They were attending the awards show of the magazine who has called them "Emo Gods" or "Goth Rock" since 2005. They were up for the most prestigious awards tonight, and they won two of them. My men won video of the year and best international band. and you know what? I am a very fucking proud momma.

"  “Call Dr. Death.  Tell him we need back-up about an hour after we enter BL/ind head-quarters.”  Ghoul nodded and flipped up the antennae.  He buzzed in the co-ordinates for Dr. D’s lair and soon the screen crackled out of the static.  Dr. D’s face appeared.

“Everything ok?” he asked, but when he saw the look on Ghoul’s face, he frowned.  “What’s happened?”  Ghoul told him everything.  A few tears hit the monitor when Ghoul retold how Missile was missing.  Dr. D gasped. 

“I’ll bring Cherri and Show Pony.  We’ll do everything we can.  But…you do realise that this is a…a death mission…don’t you?”  Dr.D’s eyes shone with sadness.  Ghoul gulped.  Then he nodded.  “Hold me up so I can see everyone, Ghoul,” Dr. D asked quietly.  Ghoul obeyed and soon Dr. D laid his eyes on his Fabulous Killjoys.  “Good luck, my boys.  This is it – your time.  It’s time to do it now and do it loud.  Make it big and make it shiny.  Make it all worthwhile in the end.  I have faith in you – in all of you.  I’ve been your surgeon, your proctor and your helicopter for eight years now.  I’ve watched you grow into the best fuckin’ Killjoys in this shit-hole of a world.  You’ve never let me down.  And if you…if you…if you don’t come back…  I’ll still be the proudest man that ever lived.  My sons, my brothers, my friends.  I salute you.” Poison choked on his tears.  Dr. D had been there all his life.  He’d taught them, trained them, and all that jazz.  Kobra sank further into his chair, biting his lip – his eyes were shimmering.  Jet wiped his tears on his sleeve.  Ghoul was shaking.

“We’ll never forget you,” Dr. Death Defying added, a tear trickling down his face and soaking into his coarse black beard.

“Thank you.  Thank you for everything, Dr.  Rally the troops.  Tonight, we storm the company,” Poison said, trying to stay strong.  Dr. D nodded.  “Party Poison signing off…for the last time…” he stammered, gulping back the sobs.  Dr. D coughed, but it sounded more like crying. 

“Killjoys…go make some mother fucking noise,” he laughed painfully.  “So long…and goodnight.”

“Good night, Dr. Death,” Poison whimpered, and the Transmission shut off. Ghoul placed it on his lap.  The car was silent, besides the soft sobs in the throat of each and every Fabulous Killjoy. "

oh Lindsey Ballatto, I love you.

"Start your band already. Come up with a good name, beg, borrow or steal an instrument and you are literally half way there. Fuck fear and fuck feeling inadequate. There are two kinds of people out there - the people who are putting themselves out there and then there are the people who are commenting on what those people are doing. Who would you rather be? Even if you think I’m full of total shit know that if I can have a career in music you can too."

hm. i wonder which one you care about more.

or...

or...

can someone explain to me how musicians always have the best love stories ever?

i don't hate all couples - i just hate stupid teenagers ones and ones without substance. (:

i think this is my seventeenth post about how much i love these couples okay.

I wish that I could explain how much i love My Chemical Romance to people not in the fanbase.

"people not in the fanbase think that because they wear stage makeup and things and hear them talking about blood, vampires, and other sick things think that they would be crying into their backpacks and cutting their arms. it's not true. their fans know who they are, and they understand."

"I hope some of those stupid motherfuckers that think MCR is dangerous are listening to this. I hope they fucking hear it. I hope they see how idiotic they've been. This band, this is everything to so many kids. Those kids were saved and these adults didn't even realise they needed tobe saved. Fuck you all, this band is incredible."

I almost hope that they become a new Beatles of some kind. The documentaries about them remind me so much of the documentaries about The Beatles. I know that no one will ever come close to The Beatles, but they will always be so much higher than that to me.

i love these boys more than i will ever love anyone in the entire world. except maybe a child i birthed. even then though, i would punch my own child in the gut to see My Chemical Romance.

its okay, im not a perfect girl either.

i still havent shown my family who i really am either.
maybe one day when i chop off all my hair, get a bunch of tattoos, a muscle car, and a motorcycle they'll just believe me when i say i'm weird.

music. (Inspirational/Love Songs)

i said that i would make another music post about things i love. this is it.

Parade - Carter Hulsey. It's a beautiful song about being an older brother. i makes me tear up every time.

Demolition Lovers - My Chemical Romance. This song is from around the time of 2001-2002. It's a horror story love song.

"I'm sorry about all the songs I wrote about killing you. I hope this one makes up for it."

Blue and Yellow - The Used. This used to be Preston & I's song, and it has just gotten to the point where I can listen to it again and not be deeply upset.

What She's Looking For - Chase Coy. I have a feeling that this will be the second theme song to my life one day.

Magnolia - The Hush Sound. It sucks that these people aren't together anymore. I love The Hush Sound. 

Swim - Jack's Mannequin. This fits into the Inspirational category, and there isn't anything stronger than this song for me. I have plans to get the word 'swim' tattooed onto my skin on my eighteenth birthday as a constant reminder to carry on, and no matter how much you choke on the saltwater, you can always swim.

Breathe Again - Jimmy Robbins. Another one of those inspirational songs. Things can always be so much worse. 

Life of a Pirate - Cady Groves. She reminds me so much of myself. I love Cady and she is my sister. We decided on this at Boney Junes.

last night.

I had a really nice talk with Carter Hulsey, who is a small musician from joplin, mo.
We were talking about music and life and how much I loved his music and how shitty the crowd was towards him, and his new album.
he played me a song after the show outside of boney junes. it was the coolest thing to ever happen to me.
sure, i've had bands play songs to me. i've had famous musicians talk to me or take me to dinner. i've had musicians wink at me while playing a song. i've had musicians play songs for groups of people after shows. but somewhere in there, i never had this happen to me.
he remembered my face. he looked for me after the show because what i asked him to play during the set he couldn't play with the whole band.
he sang it in a slower version and looked in my eyes the entire time he played it. other people around me that were also fans of his tried to come up to us while he was singing to me to listen, but he just giggled at them and ignored them completely.
he ignored them when they asked him to play another song. he hugged me and told me when he was coming back and asked me to come too.
he shook me hand when we met. asked me my name. he was a genuine gentlemen and i love him and i adore him for the rest of my days for that.
i will never forget the kindness that guys in bands show me. i'll never forget how nice musicians can be, and that is why i want to work with them.

it wasn't like this one. it was much slower and he never looked at his fret board. he said that he hadn't played it since they recorded it.
i reccomend this guy to everyone i know.

im totally derpin. this is me not caring.

i think i should magically become ten years older and live in los angeles.

i would totally babysit for the ways and play dungeons and dragons and magic the gathering all day.
fuck small town boring life.

i made the most epic playlist ever last night. i might give it to everyone i know.

1. The Kids From Yesterday (Swing Version) - My Chemical Romance
2. The Ballad of Mona Lisa - Panic at the Disco
3. Home - Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
4. 48 Crash - Suzi Quatro
5. Desolation Row - My Chemical Romance
6. When You Were Young - The Killers
7. All These Things That I've Done - The Killers
8. Bedroom Talk - The Starting Line
9. Monkey Wrench - Foo Fighters
10. Lying Is The Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off (Acoustic) - Panic! At the Disco
11. Sing - Glee Cast (just for the lulz)
12. Build Me Up, Buttercup - The Foundations
13. Mambo Number Five - Lou Bega

the conversations i have with my mother.

"mom. can i grow up to be Lyn-Z?"

"what the hell is a Lyn-Z?"

"...i hate you."

Music.

I was sitting on the bust this morning, and I was having a shitty morning. My mother was screaming at my, my cat ate headphones, and i just generally needed coffee. Plus, large one stole my bus seat. AND, I was upset that I had forgotten TWMOHA day and that glee came on that night.
I wasn't a happy camper.
But I fixed it.
I plugged in my headphone jacket with the crap sound quality and I felt better.
I was listening to 'The Kids From Yesterday' when we got to the Elementary school and it hit me just like it always does when I really listen to their words. I'm growing up. It was a hit in the face to realize that "holy shit... the music I found while I was here I am still listening to today. This is insane." and I started tearing up.
I'm growing up and I've never been happier to do so.

The Most Perfect Love Song Of All Time.

cutest couple ever? i think so.

Valentines Day.

This is a day that is spent by lovers of all types to show their affection for each other. So I felt that I would show you all my true lover.

Thats right, my Crosley Record Player. I love him. He doesn't have a name yet. I am thinking about "Franklin". It seems very... regal? 
Now I will also share with you who I spent my Valentines Day with and who I plan on spending the rest of my life with.

These boys mean more to me than life. I will be seeing you all in April. 
Thank you. I love you.

Lindsey Ballatto-Way, I hope you realize how adorable and brilliant you are and how lucky you are to have found the love of your life that easily. you and gerard are the cutest couple to walk the earth and I love you both so much in different respects. Your husband is my hero and you are my musical inspiration. Your daughter is the cutest thing and you both have more love in you than anyone I have ever heard of. 

I hope that one day I can have a love like yours. Well - even if it is only one sixteenth of the love that you two have I will be so happy. 

this will be my last post tonight.

the only possible good that could ever come from this is if we sing it for glee club at hchs and they would let me sing lead vox.
I HATE GLEE FOR THIS REASON:

1. they are ruining this insanely motivational song. i dont care if mcr approves of them singing it, it will ebt he first thing i go against them ever. sure, they did a nice job, but there are key elements they left out. no one should be able to scream the "keep running" in any cover of this song ever, because it doesn't fix out of the context of Danger Days.
2. now every fucker at my school will sing it
3. and they will all compliment me on my shirts
4. and then i will have to kill a bitch.

screencaps. i love them. i am a pretty cool human and i have a pretty cool [internet] life.

hold my beer while i kiss your girlfriend.

yeah. uhm, i am just really tempted to make this shirt and wear it everywhere.

i almost wish i was a lesbian so it was acceptable. i might just make it anyways.

happy 20th birthday Christofer Drew / Goodbye Bob Bryar.

Today is the 1 year anniversary of Bob Bryar leaving My Chemical Romance. Although Bob was never my favorite and I love Pedicone more than I should for him not being an official member, I still miss him.

oh yeah. happy 20th birthday Christopher Drew Ingle.

I still hate you - but as a lover of the music, I feel obligated.

every single day i find myself turning more and more into you.

originally when I noticed this natural phenomenon happening, I was completely worried. I was thinking to myself "does this change me? am I changing on purpose, or is this all purely coincidental?" And I have found my answer - I have been like this all along. I've been reading more comic books, I'm playing D & D on my weekends, and I'm drinking more coffee in more ways than any human could imagine. I'm looking at cars and planning my future and examining music. I'm listening to 70s glam rock and speaking in metaphor. I'm drawing more and writing way more. My brain thinks in lyrics and poetry. This is fucked up. 

I was originally very worried, thinking that maybe it was just another phase, but I realize that that "hippie chick" i was there for a while, matching all my clothes to moccasins and afraid of what people would think of me was the phase. I'm done with it now. I'm ready to be whoever I am and not worry about it. If that means that I continue to find more similarities between the two of us, it is likely that is that way because I grew up listening to you and Amy Lee more than I did my mother through jail cell telephone booths. 

No - I'm not okay. you said it yourself. it has been my own personal anthem growing up. maybe that is another thing that shaped me. maybe it was because your words say things that i cant say myself. 

favorite. couples. ever.

Frank & Jamia Iero.

Ray & Krista Toro.

Gerard & Lindsey Way.

Michael & Alicia Way.

I want a boy who will make this our song. I love it.

We are a generation told not to try too hard. The world is going to shit, so why break a sweat? We are reminded daily not to trust our gut or follow our hearts, your dreams are unattainable and unrealistic... the band almost fell victim to this "just good enough" mentality and would have never been able to forgive ourselves. You, the fans, deserved better and us as artists deserved better.

Fear is the eternal enemy. If they can keep you scared, they can keep you controlled. We too came face to face with this saboteur, and found the strength to break through and carry on. We are here as a reminder that the world is not better off without you...these are dangerous days we live in and you, the artists, are our last defense.

Art is the Weapon.

Your Imagination is the Ammunition.
Stay Dirty, and Stay Dangerous.
Create and Destroy as you see fit.
Embrace your Originality.
The Aftermath is Secondary.
You can and should do Anything.

In conclusion friends, if you take anything away from this record, please let it be the strength to be passionate.

Love what you do and who you truly are. Be willing to die for it. If you are true to yourself, you can never go wrong. And remember when life gives you lemons, MCR says start a fucking band.