imagine if he didn't pick up the phone so many years ago. if his manager wasn't on the other side to answer at three am. what would have happened? would i be going to a shallow grave site in belleville, new jersey with other teenagers that were impacted with his music after he left? there wouldn't have been a television broadcast of his funeral. there wouldn't have been closure for the fans that would have been made after his death. the cocaine and booze would have taken him under. there would have been hundreds of thousands of kids whose lives would have been taken at their own hands. i wouldn't be here, for sure.
i think that i have the right to be worried every day if i will wake up and find out that there was a divorce filed, that there was a plane crash, that the shows were cancelled, that a child was sick. people have different priorities and mine is this man and his best friends that make me live each day with my finger in the air, because i don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks because of them. because of them i am not afraid to keep on living, i am not afraid to be myself.

thank you for living past those dark nights - one of them being in my home state where they thought they would never get you out from underneath the stage to take you 'home' or to talk to brian. thank you for getting clean, and continuing. not just for us the fans - but for your growing family and for yourself.
i'm so glad you're happy now.
happy 34th birthday.