i miss it all so much. i've had three breakdowns today and i can't fucking tell anyone about any of it because i'm to fucking scared. what am i scared of, anyways? I always said that I would just be real with everyone and anyone who asked about it, but I just can't. I can't stop thinking about it and I miss it and my blanket smells like you. fuck it all, i'm going to see you this summer if i have to get a job or it kills me. i can't do it. you're so much better than everything here and i can't be here anymore.