i hate being home.

most kids don't like going home because of one reason or another. They have to clean, babysit, do homework, they're grounded, etc. Me? My mother ruins my day.
I come home and sleep because at night, she screams and yells so much that it makes me mind race.It makes me wonder what I did wrong to make her tell me that she wants to be disappear, that she wants to kill herself every day.
I don't remember the last time my mother and I went a night without arguing. She never apologizes. I'm always the one that says I'm sorry for anything that happened, which makes he more angry. I can't breathe in my house without making a contrary move that changes the entire day.
She yells about what time it is when I get up in the morning. She yells about why the bus isn't there at the exact same time every day. She yells about the weather. Then when I get home she threatens to kill herself of me because the cat pushed over the food bowl. She threatens not to feed me anymore. she threatens not to buy food.

I just don't understand how some kids biggest problem is that they have homework that night, when mine has to be

• am i going to have pants to wear tomorrow?
• am i going to get any sleep?
• am i going to have a ride home from school?
• is my mother going to cook dinner?
• do we have enough money to pay the cell phone bill?
• is the electricity going to get shut off?
• Is my moms car going to make it home?
• my mom even going to come home?

I wish I had a day when my biggest worry was whether or not I needed to watch my sibling when I got home.